Cyres
Where people connect
BLOG.CYRES.COM
Being Proud of Adversity
There are so many people who have really overcome adversities that don't let themselves move out of, completely out of the vibration of adversity because it's still entertaining to explain the adversity. And, and here's the bottom line. It makes the people who are still standing in the struggling pile willing to put up with your success if you tell them how long you've suffered before you triumphed, you see.
And we say, it still slows you way, way down. You want to stop it. All of you. In other words, it still slows you way, way down. It slows you way, way down. But what it really speaks to is that so many people are appealing almost 100% to the way they are perceived by others. 'So, what they think of me really matters a lot to me, so I've got to soften what they think.
And so, since I'm thriving in every possible way and look at them-they're not happy. They're not happy that I'm thriving. I'm making them jealous.' And we say you may be inspiring them to understanding what's possible.
'No, they don't like me any more, they're not writing me letters', and we say good. 'They're not coming to my parties', and we say not a problem.
In other words, but when you want to appeal to them, when you want to appease THEM, then you've got to be enough LIKE them that you keep the connection going. And when you're keeping THAT connection going, you're breaking your real Connection.
A. Hicks
Isolation
In recent weeks I have become much more aware of the immense isolation that is taking place in our society.
It seems like it is everyone for him/herself, like we are all competitors of each other. I notice huge consumerism amongst people. People consume each other and when no longer of value you are dumped without notice, no matter how well meaning you were before. It seems of no count.
The only safe haven seems to be our little family unit, our partner, our children, maybe a good friend or two with whom it is safe to share and with whom you can just be. With all the others it is a game, continuously playing roles, using masks and strategies.
And then of course when even this partner or our children no longer abide to our framework of safe place, then all hell breaks lose, and we are left alone out there, in the dark, unsafe.
I personally dream of a world with people that have honor, real friends that build each other up. Partnerships that make all involved bigger and grander. I dream of a world of respect, warmth and kindness. A world where people remember what you have added to their quality of life, a world of care, a world of true beauty.
The truth will set you free is a famous quote. However the deeper layers of truth can also have a very sobering effect on one's world. Sometimes it is easier to be naive, to believe what people speak, to listen to their nice words, to participate in the tic-toc. Life seems so beautiful than, everyone well meaning. The moment you go to deeper levels of feeling, observing body language, hearing the tone of the voice of others, you discover a different reality; you discover the true feelings of people which they so carefully try to hide. You start to see, but others don't know that you see.
This week there was an interview with a father in Libya who lost his son in the battle for freedom. The father was interviewed and the reporter asked him how he felt about it his son having died. The man replied: ' I am happy that my son died for the cause of freedom. We just had enough, we have enough of this way of living, of the fear, the oppression, of life being this way. I have 3 other sons and me and my wife all happily want to die to bring about another way.'
Those words really got to me and I wondered when will we really have had enough of this way of being that is destroying the human spirit and turned most of us in survival mode. Yes with a nice TV in front of us, a beautiful BMW, a fancy title, a fireplace lit, but freezing deep inside, destroying our very soul.
Cris
Cyres.
Light
Something or someone turned off my light
I don't want to find my way across the room in the dark with a flashlight
I want to light up the room
And have my light shine again
I will do whatever it takes to ignite
this light anew.
Cyres
The stages of personal change
Yesterday when I was coaching a client we got into the subject of how and when people change. One of the important factors of change, the pivotal force, so to speak, it one's self confidence. My client firmly believed that one's self confidence grows when you are more appreciated. I told him that this was a flawed perception.
When you are lacking self confidence, no amount of external appreciation will ever give you the feeling that you are good enough or valuable enough. Even when you have nine people around you positively commenting on you, you will still focus on this one odd person that does not. And thus you spin yourself into a loop that you never get out of. One never gets to a situation where you are always appreciated by everyone in your environment and thus the self confidence never builds that way.
Most people in that situation keep chasing appreciation the rest of their lives, always ending up disappointed.
Appreciation and the way you feel about yourself is an inside out job: it starts inside yourself and later on it shows up in your environment.
This is how it sort of goes.
Stage 1 - You find yourself to be in a fucked up situation, working hard, doing all you can, but never getting the appreciation for it.
Stage 2 - You start valorizing yourself, positively affirming your self image, what you think about yourself, how good you are, how dedicated you are, but the situation outside of you is still fucked up, so you are basically lying to yourself because the outside world does not resemble what you believe about yourself inside.
Stage 3 - You continue valorizing yourself, positively affirming your self image, what you think about yourself, how good you are, how dedicated you are, the situation outside of you is still fucked up, but your perception changes about it, you look at it with a soft eye, even find it funny how crazy this world is, so you are basically lying to yourself because the outside world does not resemble what you believe about yourself inside but you are having fun with it.
Stage 4 - You continue to valorize yourself, positively affirming your self image, what you think about yourself, how good you are, how dedicated you are, and thus become less dependent on the outside appreciation. Now people in your environment start to behave differently, you get more opportunities, more positive input, more career possibilities. Your environment starts to reflect more the image that you have been appreciating about yourself for some time now.
Stage 5 - You have become so aware of the fact that you create your environment from the inside out that you now can deliberately change your environment: your environment further positively reflects you and/or you find yourself in a complete new environment (new colleagues/friends, new job,...).
So remember change is always an inside out job!
Cris
Cyres.
Gold, Silver and Debt
I once heard a man say to me: Gold is the money of kings, silver the money of gentlemen and debt is the money of slaves.
Now suppose that, hypothetically of course, that you are surrounded by people who are used to exchange silver coins only and who have never seen gold and wouldn't even recognize it if they had it in their hands. Suppose now that you are one of the guys that has golden coins as well.
What would you do with your golden coins? Would you try to sell them but only get in return their equivalent weight in silver? Would you try to convince your environment that there is such a thing as gold and that it is 60 times more valuable than silver or would you just keep the gold to yourself, keep silent and eventually walk away with your golden coins and leave the silver dealers to deal with silver?
What would your choice be?
Walk your talk
Many coaches teach their coachees to have more self confidence when that is what they are lacking. Many of them however have lacking self confidence themselves. I so see that among a lot of them there is such a fear to work together with other coaches out of fear of losing clients or having their clients turning to others.
That to me proves that a lot don't walk their talk because when you have a lot of self confidence yourself, you are not afraid of the others, you know that they complement you and that each of us have our role to play. It is a clear example of deep rooted fear.
Life becomes so easy and clear when you see weather or not people are walking their talk. You can only learn from examples that live and demonstrate their values throughout the different aspects of their lives. All the rest is false and never a stimulation to evolve. It is fear that breeds more fear.
There are so many levels of illusion that tend to trap us along the way...don't be fooled!
Cris
Cyres
A society of mediocrity
It is very interesting to see how our society really works. When you look at the way our consumerist society is set up, the main rule is that a new idea or product can only be launched when society is ready for it or when enough consumers are interested in it.
Now percentage wise only 2% of the population is innovative, some adapt and the majority is conservative (70%) and want to stick to the states quo. For any product or service to make it on a large enough scale, it needs to fit into the mindset of the 70% of conservatives. Otherwise it is bound to fail or it will not take off.
What it means is that any progressive thinking, inventions, need to be downgraded to one kind of level of conservatism to make it into mainstream.
That is why so many inventors, progressive thinkers find themselves to be so frustrated, and walking into a wall of opposition. For some it turns them into bitterness, and they get harder because of the countless knock outs they got when conveying their ideas to the rest.
And thus we have set the framework for a very dull, mediocre society, where the highest insight is about how to cook a meal. At least by now we should all be excellent cooks, considering the massive attention in any media about this topic!
In reality innovations get to fruition when either they are downgraded to mass consciousness, or when a powerful financial group invests in the idea for other purposes, like the military complex.
What are you having for dinner?
Cris
Cyres
Homing Beacon
Dear Friends,
My friends out there
You who have been my loyal and trusted friends
You who have been my friends in all the pasts
You who have been my friends in all the futures
You who have been my friends in all the presents
You who have been my friends in this dimension
You who have been my friends in all dimensions
I call upon you all
For I have traveled great distance
For I have walked long time in solitude
For I have listened long time to my own voice
For I have stood all alone
for what I felt to be right against the others
I have missed you greatly!
I call upon you and call you all by your names
For I recognize each and everyone of you
Appear again in my world
I want to feel the true power again of our friendship
The true power of our companionship
The true power of One soul
I call upon you to assist me in my task
For it is a huge one
One we have prepared very long for
One for which the time has come
I call upon you
And when we meet I will tell you ‘it is YOU!’
It is You is who I missed
It is You who I loved
It is You who my heart rejoiced about
Hold my hand
Hold me when I am burdened too much
Look me in the eye
And tell me once more
‘United we stand’
‘Impenetrable we are’
All for one and one for all!
In this time and all times!
The Truth about Personal Development
In the more than 30 years now that I am passionate about personal development, I have learned quite a lot about what works and what doesn't work.
Can people really change? Can one change one's behavior? Can one change his/her temper, character?
Does this industry of personal development really deliver? Or is it all about promises that never really get fulfilled?
What I have seen is that people's patterns run very deep, very deep! It takes huge effort and discipline to really change ones beingness. The key is motivation: How deep is your burning desire to really change the personality that you are?
Few people are really motivated to change. They only consider changing when the environment forces them, like when successively relationships break up or when there is fear of losing the job when they don't change. Most people only get motivated to change when their back is against the wall and they don't see any way out any more.
A lot of them just come to fix a problem: they don't have a partner, they do not have enough money, they don't have the career change that they really want. When the problem is fixed they like to return to their old life and old habits. So basically they are ok with their life, they just have this isolated problem that they want to solve, an inconvenience that they want to get out of the way. They rarely see the whole picture and more honestly, they are not interested in the whole picture. Fixing the problem is like replacing a laptop that you don't like anymore. You switch your PC to an Apple and you enjoy the new features.
So most issues in life are dealt with on a surface level, not dealing with the deeper dynamics and not getting to the core. You can compare it to driving with a 2HP car where you have it just turned into a new one by adding a new layer of paint; it is the same car, it just looks nicer, but underneath it feels just the same. You learn a few tips and tricks, you learn how to play the game, you learn when to speak and not to speak. How to show respect, how to listen,... You learn on a rational level the implications of your behavior and so you adapt. Even on this surface level the successes can be very visible. Rationally based methods, wrapping the mind cleverly around the experiences.
But the being inside doesn't change. You learn how to focus, how to achieve goals, how to use your time well and how to get priorities right. You now have become a formula 1 driver, but you are still driving that same old 2HP car, with its bruises, oil leaks, fumes and worn out dashboard.
Outside you are successful now, but inside you still feel the same, you still have those old frustrations, those emotions of jealousy, anger, guilt, wanting appreciation,... You feel like a puzzle with pieces that don't really perfectly fit.
And then there is a whole different level of personal development, you could call it the PHD of personal development, where you really change your energy, where you change the puzzle and make it fit and turn your 2HP car into a Ferrari. Very few people go for this level. I believe not even 5% of the people who are dealing with personal development issues get to this level. This level demands dedication. Changing yourself like an alchemical process, where you transmute yourself into an new being. This level, which is exponentially rewarding can only be reached when your life has become a living meditation: every word you speak, every breath you take is focused on changing yourself into a new being. This is the ultimate beingness, where you really free your true potential. This is where you are born anew.
But this takes a burning desire to transmute into a new being. This transmutation of energy CAN NOT be achieved by cognitive means or methods. Here only non cognitive ways can provide an answer. Methods that change frequency, that have a profound impact on your energy, on how you feel about yourself, can serve as a gateway for this process. But since our Western Wold worships the cognitive approach, overall only limited change happens. This is also the reason why besides having improved technology, human kind has not really evolved much compared to 2000 years ago. Most are still torn apart by their emotional instabilities just like they would have been thousands of years ago.
So what is your approach to personal development: frequency based or cognitive based?
The answer to this question will tell you how much of real change you can expect in your life...
In Truth
Cris
Cyres
In This World but not of This World
Have you ever felt that this world doesn't make any sense to you? That you don't get exited by what most around you get exited about? That you don't buy into the lifestyle most are living?
Ever felt that there should be more to life than creating a family and offspring? More to do than waiting for your retirement to finally start living?
Are you the stranger on this planet, like an extra-terrastrial in human form who took the wrong exit and hopes to be found by the mothership?
Have you made it in the eyes of the world , do you have lots of money, are you successful in business, and have built name and fame and still feel like this? Than you are EXENTRIC.
If on the other hand, you have never felt you belonged, never felt the passion to create anything in a world you don't understand and don't agree with, than you are called a LOSER, STRANGE, A FAILURE.
Most hide the greater part of their lives, hiding behind masks, hiding behind stuff, as to not show the pain, not show the suffering of not having been able to express what their note really was about.
Some have tried adapting for a long time until the day came they were sick and tired of wearing masks and suddenly put it all on the line. They don't care about the world view anymore, they don't care anymore about how it will impact their friendships, their jobs. They no longer do the sensible thing...they have chosen to become authentic, show themselves, boldly, naked chest. They've just had enough, fed up, and no longer want to play the game. They have become system busters.
It is very frightening for the masses to have such people in their midst. They expose their fear, their own lack of courage. And instead of looking at themselves, they will attack the courageous ones, because that feels easier than having the lie shattered.
No one in this world has a similar contribution, we all have a different note to sing, a different role to play. Why is it than that we look for other authorities or references outside of ourselves, when there is only one of you? You are one of a kind, the last man / woman standing of your species. No one left of like kind to tell you anything about what you should or shouldn't do. You are the last one!
Are you ready to take full responsibility?
Or do you prefer to hide among the others?
When all notes in life decided to sing the same song there was no longer a symphony. It became grey and dull. Music that no longer inspired.
When is your time to play the music?
Cris
Cyres.
